Christian Living: Childhood & Adolescence

Sermon planned for Sunday, May 1st, 2011

Text: Matthew 19:13-14; 1 Timothy 4:12

This morning’s sermon is the first of a five-part series that I’ve entitled Christian Living: Seasons of the Journey. I thought of this series a while back and, together with the worship committee, worked out a series of topics about the Christian’s journey through life: from childhood , through adolescence, early adulthood, singleness, marriage, parenthood, mid-life, retirement, growing old, dying and grieving. As human beings, our lives usually follow a certain pattern. We are born, we grow older, we age, and we die. As Christians, we participate in this same pattern. None of us are like Benjamin Button, a fictional character who was born as a senior citizen and grew up into a young but aged infant. In the real world we move from cradle to grave.
This sermon series is an attempt to speak Christian-ly about this journey – to examine scripture and allow the Christian story to interrogate how we understand this journey. What practices shape us as we move through these stages? How do we understand the role of children, and why do we have baby dedications? What about adolescence? How are we to understand the journey from childhood to adulthood and what does it mean to be Christian on this journey? What about singleness and celibacy? What about dating? What does the Christian story have to say about human sexuality and marriage? What about parenting? And how are we to understand the disciple’s calling in the face of mid-life issues, or retirement? Does a Christian ever retire? From what do we retire? From being productive? And what about aging, growing old and frail? What does it mean to carry out our discipleship as seniors? What does it mean for us to face death? Or to grieve those who have died?

A five-part series will only briefly touch on these phases of life and Christian discipleship – but my goal is to get us praying, thinking and talking about our journey through life – and to intentionally examine what Christ’s call means for us on each part of the journey.

This morning we’re going to talk about childhood and adolesence. What does the bible have to say about children? What does the Christian worldview have to say about babies and the little ones that remind us of how precious a good night sleep is? And what can we as Christians say about the journey from childhood to adulthood? What about this thing called adolescence?

When parents brought their children to him, Jesus made it clear that children were to be welcomed. “Let them come – and do not stop them!” Why would anyone stop them? In Jesus’ time, children were viewed primarily as possessions. Your child belonged to you in a way similar to property. Marriages were arranged, years in advance, in order to bring about better financial situations for the larger family. Children were sold into slavery in order to pay off debts. But there was also a stream of thought that said something completely different about children. From stories like that of Abraham, Sarah and Isaac, Rachel and Joseph, Hannah and Samuel, Elizabeth and John the Baptist – in stories like these, we get a different picture. In these stories, children represent something much greater than mere possessions. In these stories, children are portrayed as gifts; they are signs of hope – that God is going to give us a future of gladness. In the biblical imagination, children were a sign of hope in God’s future and his covenant promises. Jesus says, “It is to children such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs.” Children are the inheritors of God’s future. Welcome them as gifts from God – do not stop them.

At this time I want to invite all the children & youth to come to the front rows and have a seat. (Parents can determine whether their child is old enough to come and sit at the front.)

Were you listening to the last bit of my sermon? What did we hear Jesus say about the children that the parent’s brought to him? Did you know that Jesus loved children? How does the song about Jesus loving children go? (Sing it with the congregation) That song tells us something very important – it tells us the truth: Jesus loves children. God loves each one of you very much. One thing I said earlier is that you children are a gift from God. You’re a gift to your family. You’re a gift to the people in this church. You’re a gift to people like Karen and me, who don’t have kids. You’re a gift to the world. God gave you to your parents, to all of us, as a gift.

But did you know that God gave each one of you a gift too? God gave you a mom and a dad. Most of us have moms and dads, but some of us only have one, but each mom and each dad is God’s gift to you, just like you’re a gift to your moms and dads. How many of you like getting gifts and presents? When you have a present under the Christmas tree, what do you do? Do you kick it around the house? Or if your mom and dad get you a toy or a doll as a gift, do you throw it in the garbage? No, when we receive gifts, we enjoy them. Your parents are gifts to you from God, do you believe me? Why do you think God gave you parents as a gift?

God gave you parents as a gift so that you would have someone to take care of you. God gave them to you so that they could love you and teach you about life, about the bible, about Jesus. God gave you parents so that they could make sure you have a warm place to sleep and food to eat. That’s why God gave you parents as a gift. How do you think you should receive this gift? As children, its really important that we listen to our parents and show them respect. Why? Because God gave them to us and that’s how God wants us to treat our parents. In fact, one of the Ten Commandments is that God tells us to obey and listen to our parents – and God promises that if we do this life will be a lot better for us.

But now I want to focus on what I said before. You children are a gift from God. You’re a gift to your parents, to the church, to Karen and me, and to the world. But, you know what, sometimes people treat children like they’re not a gift. Sometimes people are really mean to children. This happens for a lot of different reasons. Sometimes adults treat children badly because they’re tired, and they lose patience. This happens. Sometimes it happens because children, like all of you, can do things that make other adults really upset, and sometimes people become mean. When your parents or others get mad or act mean to you, this doesn’t mean that they don’t love you; and sometimes adults forget that you’re a gift from God. That happens too. That’s why I want to remind everyone here that you guys are a gift to us.

And then sometimes, adults do things that they shouldn’t do to children. Sometimes adults hurt children, and that is not good. Sometimes adults tell children bad things, or they tell them to keep very bad secrets. This is not what God wants – God wants adults to be good to you and to treat you as a gift. IF ANYONE IS HURTING YOU, OR IF ANY ADULT IS TELLING YOU TO KEEP BAD SECRETS – IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU TELL YOUR PARENTS, OR A TEACHER, A SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER, OR YOU CAN TELL ME TOO. If anyone is hurting you, they are not listening to God, they are being bad and they are disobeying Jesus. Jesus tells us to let the children to come to Him and not to stop the children.

Just to review: What are you as children? Who are you gifts to? And what gift has God given to you children? How does God want you to treat your parents? And how does God want parents and other adults to treat you? Thanks so much for listening.

The bible offers us a clear picture of children – that they are a gift to us from God. They are a gift of hope that points to God’s future. A culture that despises its children is a culture of death that rejects the coming Kingdom of God, in which children are the model citizens, according to Jesus. The world offers us a variety of views of children. They fall under three basic categories. There’s the healthy view that we just talked about, where children are viewed as gifts; and then there’s the unhealthy ones – and each of these false views has to do with not loving children properly.

First of all, much of the world views children as accessories. Parents have children in order to accessorize their lives. Men and women choose to have children when it best suits them and fits into their planned lives. In this view, children are an add-on that must fit neatly into a life that is primarily about fulfilling the needs of mom and dad. In this case, parents love their children, but it’s a love that is just as much self-directed as it is directed towards children. When parents live completely within this worldview, children become hazards and inconveniences. Why? Going into parenting with the view that children can be fit into neat and tidy schedules is a view that soon encounters a problem. Children=chaos. Children are wild, demanding, not easily tamed, and are as unique as each fingerprint. They demand a parent’s energies and are not easily pinned down as tidy accessories to a self-focused life. Parents that have children for the sake of accessorizing their own lives will either have over-controlling discipline methods that oppress their children, eventually leading them to rebellion, or these parents become completely unsatisfied with their lives because it didn’t go as planned.

The second over-arching approach is more demonic; and that’s when children are viewed as a curse. The problem here is a lack of love for children. It might be that this is just a more perverse form of the first problem – but I separate them because of the extreme difference in parenting. In a culture that views children as a curse, we often hear people speak of children as a punishment. In such a worldview, abortions are a simple choice, there is no consideration of a child’s wants and desires. Another perverse effect of this worldview is that children become objects of all forms of abuse. In a much darker way than the one where children are seen as accessories, the worldview that views children as a curse sees children as objects, thing’s to own, dominate and master – the child sex trade is the most appaling practice of this worldview.

Child abuse is the most grave form of sin for parents and other adults, because it is precisely with children that Christians are co-partners with God in the creative act. We co-create children with God in the act of intercourse. We are co-teachers, with the Spirit, in leading them to Christ. If we become abusers in this realm of our life—if we become abusers of children—we become the most dispicable of sinners, precisely because it is in the area of greatest responsibility. Similarly, Jesus makes it clear what he thinks of child abusers: Mark 9:42
"If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea.”
This is not a call for us Christians to punish and kill child molestors. This is a reality check for abusers – you’d be better off throwing yourself into the ocean than messing with the children that God has given you as a gift. The Christian calling, for parents, is to cherish children as a gift from God – they are not a curse, they are not accessories to your life – they are gifts to be cherished, safe-guarded, taught, loved, and dedicated to God. Anything else just won’t do!

What about for you youth and younger adults? What does the bible have to say about your journey from childhood to adulthood? Adolescence is this time of life when your bodies make a transition from being a child to being an adult. I won’t go into the details of the change with you – I’m sure your parents and your schools are doing a great job of teaching you about that. But I do want to talk to you about some important parts of this change. Most importantly I want you to know about how God thinks of you as you go through some of these changes.

First of all, during adolenscence many things are changing. Your emotions, your bodies, your hormones, your relationship with your parents and your peers, and even your relationship with God. Change comes with some nervousness and anxiety. We like things to stay the same so that we can know what to expect from life. When things change on us, it can cause us some great anxieties.

One thing that changes in this time is our spiritual worldview. Before, God seemed like he was always the same, never changing; in adolescence we start to notice that sometimes it feels like God is really close to us, and other times it feels like God is far away. It can feel like God is changing, or that God is much more mysterious than we at first thought. We notice that there’s lots of good things happening in the world, but even more we notice that there’s also a lot of evil things happening in our world; and this can have us asking questions about God. When we were young children, everything seemed simple and straightforward – but during adolescence, God gives us a broader perspective and we see that life is complicated. This can cause us great anxiety.

One of my favorite verses from when I was your age is Psalm 46:2-5
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. (Song: Not be shaken)
This poem reminds us that things do change – but we don’t have to fear. God is in our midst, and the place where God dwells is not shaken to pieces. In the midst of the storms in our life, God can be our place of safety. And so I want to encourage you to turn to God when things get shaky for you.

Another thing that changes is our bodies, and this can get us really worried about how we look, and about what others think of us. Then there’s the things that have been done to us. Many of us have been hurt by others (verbally, emotionally, sexually or physically), and this makes us think that we’re bad people, otherwise that wouldn’t have happened. One of these body changes that happens is that we find other people attractive, and we want others to like us too. There’s a whole bunch of things that can cause us to really struggle with who we are and what we think of ourselves.

This morning I want you to know what God says about you. God says that you are a beautiful person. God created you as a piece of art – perfect and just right. When God put His Spirit in you, he called you His child. Sometimes we feel like we’re ugly. Sometimes we feel like we’re horrible people. Sometimes we think that something we did is so bad that God couldn’t possibly love us. Or sometimes other people have done things to us that make us feel horrible about ourselves. I want you to know that God doesn’t think bad things about you. God has made you and He said that you are good.

Like I said to the younger children earlier, IF ANYONE IS HURTING YOU, OR ABUSING YOU (VERBALLY, PHYSICALLY OR SEXUALLY) – YOU NEED TO TALK TO A PARENT, OR TALK TO ME, A TEACHER OR SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER – GET HELP, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED AS GOD’S BELOVED CHILD. Don’t wait – you are a child of God and God wants you treated with love, respect, and honour.

But as God’s child you also have an important role in God’s plan. You see, our culture wants people your age to do almost nothing. Our surrounding culture wants you to be so worried about what you wear and how you look. Our surrounding culture wants you to think that your most important role in life is to spend money and be entertained. But God has a much bigger plan for you. The bible tells us that youth are supposed to set an example to the rest of us believers. You’re supposed to set an example with how you talk, how you show care and love to others, how you radically live out your faith and set your life apart for God. Our surrounding culture encourages people your age to go braindead with movies, video games, and concerns about whether you look like a model on the magazine. The good news is that that doesn’t have to be you! You are called to be disciples. You’re not children anymore, you are becoming adults. God made you to move forward to become radical disciples of God’s love and peace. God made you to be strong in the identity you have in Jesus – not in the idenities that our surrounding culture wants you to have. The question is: will you respond to Jesus and become a radical disciple? Will you choose to see yourself the way God sees you? Will you rot on the couch with your PSP and XBOX; will you fall to pieces being worried about what others think of you and how you look, or will you pick up your cross and follow Jesus, being creative, imaginitive, and energetic disciples – setting an example for the rest of us folks? That’s the question I have for you this morning. What’s your answer?

This morning we celebrate God’s gift of children. We are cheering for our youth as they transition to adulthood. But our discipleship calling goes even further than mere celebration and cheering. As a congregation, our calling is to actively welcome children and youth; to treat them as gifts, not as accessories or curses. We welcome children as gifts – this means that we also welcome them in their uniqueness – not because they ‘play nice’ or because they ‘fit in’. The thing about gifts is that they invade our lives and shape us. Gifts are beyond our control – they are not there for us to domesticate, but to receive with joyful hearts. When your friend or spouse offers you a gift, you do not give them the rules about what they can give you or how that gift will function in your friendship. Receiving gifts is an act of vulnerable love. The same goes for welcoming children. Examine your attitude to the children in our congregation. If they are a gift from God to us, then why can it be like pulling teeth to get people involved in Sunday school or DVBS or camp ministry? These children are gifts that God has given to each one of us in this church – let’s act like it.

Earlier I spoke about abuse. Many of us have experienced some form of abuse as children. Can we become a community that heals rather than wounds? I encourage you to seek help if you haven’t; to seek healing and to help others bear their burdens and move towards wholeness.

And now for the not-so-fun part: If any of you are abusing someone, if you are molesting a child, or verbally abusing a young person, or beating your child – STOP! JUST STOP IT! Speak to a counselor and to someone in authority – turn yourself in. And seek help! Heed Jesus’ warning; to go on in that direction is to put you on the hot seat come the day of Judgment; but much more importantly – to abuse a child is to damage a person that is deeply loved by God, created in His image.

Finally, for parents and other adults – this morning you have a gospel calling – a discipleship calling, to welcome and love the children in our congregation. To tell them the story of God’s salvation and reconciliation. You have a holy calling, to prepare youth and walk with them in this transition. To mentor youth and to welcome them into the journey of discipleship. Your calling is to pass the baton to young people and let them get their feet wet – let them run the race too. Examine the gifts and passions of our young people and welcome them to share their gifts in building up the church. Because, as many youth pastors have been telling us for years, the youth are not the church of tomorrow – the youth are the church today!

May God richly bless you children and youth, as you live out your call to be disciples of Jesus Christ. Amen.